Divorce is never easy — but for survivors of coercive control, the process can feel especially unfair. Emotional abuse can destroy confidence, careers, and financial security, yet under current UK law, its impact is often invisible in financial settlements. We spoke to Elizabeth Hicks, a Director at Family Law in Partnership (FLiP) – and a trusted lawyer named in Legal 500 and Spears 500 - to discover how the law treats coercive control in divorce, and why reform is needed to better protect survivors.

FLiP is quite an unusual name for a law firm.  What’s the story behind it?

When Family Law in Partnership, or 'FLiP' was founded in 1995, its ethos, which continues today, was to work in partnership with our clients to deal with the breakdown of a relationship. We believe it is essential, when someone is separating from their partner, to explore with the client the best way for them to resolve their issues. From the outset, we have employed in-house therapists and mediators who are available for clients to work with so that they can understand both the legal and emotional aspects of their separation.

Although therapy and counselling are sometimes seen as a “soft skill”, at FLiP, we see it as essential.  With four counsellors/therapists and 11 mediators in-house, every client is offered the opportunity to meet with a therapist or counsellor as they go through their separation. We will discuss all options with clients, working in partnership to determine the best approach.

You’ve described therapy as an ‘essential skill,’ especially in the context of divorce or separation. Does it have a measurable impact on the legal outcome?  

While there is no direct measurable impact on the legal outcome, in my experience, when a client has been subject to coercive control, I can see firsthand the positive effect that therapy has for them in particular. It allows them to put matters into perspective. They can start to see for themselves the extent of the abuse they have suffered and learn how to cope with it and move forwards with their life. This type of abuse is more common than you would think and takes months, sometimes years, for individuals to open up about what they have suffered during a relationship.

What’s the difference between abusive behaviour and coercive behaviour in the eyes of the law?

Abusive behaviour is when someone behaves in a harmful or aggressive way towards someone else. It is not limited to people who are or have been in an intimate or family relationship; for example, you can be physically abused by someone you don’t know – this is usually known as an assault.

Domestic abuse is a general term describing a range of behaviour and can be applied to several criminal offences. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 introduced a statutory definition of domestic abuse, which is abuse between people over the age of 16 who are personally connected. It is the domestic nature of the abuse which makes it different as it is a complete breach of the trust involved in a relationship between people who are personally connected.

Coercive or controlling behaviour (“CCB”) is a type of domestic abuse. The perpetrator seeks total power and control and will employ strategic behaviours such as humiliation, excessive monitoring and micromanaging of daily activities accompanied by threats and assaults to achieve compliance. The victim is increasingly deprived of their basic needs and rights and may lose all sense of self.

• At the start, CCB is often misinterpreted as ultra caring behaviour – it is framed as acts of love but they are all designed to become controlling. Physical violence is not always used in cases of CCB but it is a deterrent.
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• There is often “Gaslighting” in cases of CCB – i.e. the victim develops a sense of unreality and self-doubt so they become ever more dependent on the abuser.
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• Victims of CCB often say they are not “allowed” to do something or have to ask permission for everyday things.
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• The most common phrase used by them is that they are “walking on eggshells” and constantly worried about how the perpetrator will react to or behave in response to what they do, say etc.

Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015 created the offence of CCB in an intimate or family relationship. It recognised that it is a “course of conduct offence” – i.e. that it can amount to numerous incidents and a repeated pattern of abuse, sometimes over several years. The criminal test is that there must be:

1. An individual who repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour towards another that is controlling or coercive;

2. At the time of the behaviour, the perpetrator and victim must be personally connected;

3. The behaviour has a serious effect on the victim, and the perpetrator knows or ought to know that the behaviour will have a serious effect on the other person.

How effective is the law at recognising coercive behaviour during a divorce and what impact does it have on the victim’s financial settlement?

The financial claims which each person has against the other in a divorce is governed by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. This sets out a number of individual factors which the court must take into account when looking at the financial order it will make on divorce. Section 25 (2)(g) of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 states that the court must take conduct into account only if it would be inequitable to disregard it.

Behaviour such as rape and attempted murder have been classed as conduct which would be taken into account and make a financial difference to the level of financial order on divorce. However it is plain from a 2020 Family High Court decision that how someone behaves must have a financial consequence to its impact and the conduct must be financially measurable in order for it to make a difference to the financial outcome of a divorce. The Judge commented that it was not “a court of morals”.

The most recent cases on this issue have confirmed that there must be a causative link between the facts relied on of behaviour/conduct and a clear financial loss, even if the loss is not easily quantifiable or measurable.

What does this mean in practice for a divorcing couple where there has been coercive or controlling behaviour (CBB)?

As much as it pains me to say it, CCB is highly unlikely to have a financial impact on a divorce unless you can show a clear financial loss as a direct result of it.

Take a wife subjected to years of CCB, who has given up her career or education at her husband’s insistence, lost her self-esteem, suffers from depression and anxiety, and lost her skills and confidence. Unless she is able to show a clear, quantifiable loss as a result of the husband’s behaviour, the current way in which cases are decided means that CCB will not have any bearing on the level of financial order which is made by the court in a divorce.

A 2024 Resolution survey found that 80% of family justice professionals believed domestic abuse, specifically economic abuse, was not sufficiently taken into account in divorce financial cases and that the Courts' approach to Section 25 (2)(g) leads to unfair outcomes for some abuse survivors.

The sentiment was echoed at the November 2024 ThoughtLeaders4 HNW Divorce Litigation Conference, where I spoke about CCB in divorce. Of the audience of 150+ delegates, mainly family lawyers from London and the South East, over 75% agreed such behaviour should influence the court’s financial orders.

It sounds like the pressure is mounting for the law to change around coercive or controlling behaviour in divorce. What does the future hold?

It is important to remember that how a case is decided in a divorce is governed by statute – the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 - and that what is in the statute is then interpreted by different Judges in reported cases.

On 18 December 2024, the Law Commission of England and Wales published a scoping report after being asked by the Government to review whether the current law is working effectively and delivering fair and consistent outcomes for divorcing couples. One of the factors it had to consider was the effect of the behaviour of separating parties when making a financial order. The conclusion was that the current law does not reflect the significant developments arising out of the judicial decisions and that the law lacks certainty and accessibility. It is now up to the Government to decide if the law on finances in divorce requires reform and if so, what shape the reform should take. A full response is due by December 2025.

Currently, we have a number of High Court Judges' decisions that act as a guide. As newer Judges are appointed, it is possible that they may change the way in which we consider CCB in divorce but for now, we are left with having to consider if there is a quantifiable or measurable financial consequence to the behaviour for it to make a difference to the financial outcome.

And finally, for someone preparing to leave a relationship marked by coercive control, what advice would you give them to ensure they achieve the best possible outcome in a divorce or separation?

There are a number of steps someone considering leaving an abusive relationship should consider:
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• Prepare a diary of what has happened to them and recall as many examples as they can of the CCB they have suffered, even if they feel unable to share it. This will help them deal with it as well as potentially being useful in the divorce.
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• Track finances, specifically consider any financial loss as a result of the CCB e.g. if they were coerced to leave their job so that they could spend more time at home and be a “better wife”, forced to transfer funds into the sole name of the perpetrator, told to sign financial documents without being able to read them first.
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• Reach out to family and close friends (even if they haven’t been close to them in recent times because of the CCB) and explain briefly what they have experienced and ensure that they have their support for what will undoubtedly be a difficult time for them.
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• Consider therapy to help come to terms with what has happened and how to deal with it if it reoccurs in the future.

Conclusion

As can be gathered from our discussion, navigating divorce where coercive control is a factor requires far more than legal expertise alone. Elizabeth Hicks’ insights highlight the importance of recognising the profound and lasting impact of emotional abuse — not just on a client’s wellbeing, but on their financial future too.

If you or your client are preparing to leave a controlling or abusive relationship, or simply want to explore your options, we encourage you to seek advice. We would be happy to support you in navigating this complex process with care, clarity, and a strategy tailored to your unique circumstances.
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Mark Estcourt

CEO at Cavendish Family Office
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