From champagne to c’est compliqué, navigating an Anglo-French divorce is far from straightforward. Emilie Helm, a family lawyer at MBS Family Law, reveals how the firm’s savoir-faire and multilingual expertise help clients untangle cross-border complexities with precision and care. In this Q&A, Emilie shares why jurisdiction matters, how cultural nuances come into play, and the transformative impact of her unique “therapeutic lawyering” approach.

MBS Family Law isn’t your typical law firm. What makes it stand out, and how does its unique approach benefit clients in complex family law matters?

MBS is far from your average law firm. We are one of the rare firms in London with two lawyers of dual Anglo/French nationality and fluency in both languages, and we also benefit from having a French-qualified lawyer working with us. This gives MBS a multilingual edge for tackling cross-border complexities as it’s not just about understanding the rules of the game; it’s about knowing how to play on both sides of the court. MBS thrives here, seamlessly switching between French and English legal frameworks, ensuring no nuance gets lost in translation, as well as understanding the subtleties of culture which really matters to French clients living in England.

Speaking of Anglo-French law, in your experience, is it better to get divorced in England or France?

That’s like choosing between Champagne and English sparkling wine—both have their merits, but it depends on what you’re after. England tends to offer more generous financial settlements, particularly for the economically weaker spouse, making it the preferred choice for those seeking a fair settlement. Having said that, I’d choose Champagne every time!

You’re ‘Emilie’ with an ‘ie,’ and I know you have presented in French updates on English/international family Law cases and other family law topics relevant to a French legal audience at the annual National French Family Law Conference Les États Généraux. Does this hint at a personal connection to France?

Yes, absolutely. Unlike Emily in Paris, my story isn’t all about fashion and croissants—though I do have a soft spot for both. As a French and English national, my connection to France runs deep. My mother is French, and I spent every holiday there with my French relatives, fully immersed in the culture(and yes, the bureaucracy too but the less said about that the better!).

Later, I spent six months of my training in Paris, where I gained first-hand experience with the French legal system, learning not only legal nuances but also the art of savouring a good debate over lunch. My Anglo-French identity and experience have given me an invaluable perspective on cross-border legal matters, and I like to think that “Emilie with an ‘ie’” bridges both worlds quite nicely.

In addition to your high-profile legal roles at Payne Hicks Beach and consulting with MBS, you’re also a qualified coach. How do you integrate coaching into legal practice?

Coaching is the secret ingredient that transforms the legal process from purely transactional to transformational. While the law provides structure and resolution, coaching focuses on the client’s inner journey—helping them reconnect with their values, rebuild confidence, and embrace uncertainty. By integrating coaching, I help clients not only survive their divorce but emerge from it with clarity, strength, and a renewed sense of purpose. It’s about building the emotional scaffolding alongside the legal framework. I like to call it “therapeutic lawyering”.‍

You’ve introduced the concept of "therapeutic lawyering" into your practice. Could you explain what therapeutic lawyering means and how it benefits your clients?

Therapeutic lawyering is about viewing legal issues through a well-being lens. It’s not just about winning a case—it’s about helping clients heal and move forward. More often than not, divorce is let’s say 5% law, 20% finances, and 75% emotions. By addressing that 75%, my aim is to help clients gain clarity, reduce anxiety, and make decisions that align with their long-term happiness. It’s a bit like having a lawyer and strategist as well as a guide and trusted confidante inyour corner to ensure you leave the process feeling stronger than when you entered it.

Is there a type of client profile that is particularly suited to coaching?  And do you find that coaching resonates more with women than men?

Coaching benefits anyone who feels stuck or overwhelmed, regardless of gender. I think there is a perception that women gravitate toward coaching more readily, perhaps due to societal norms that often encourage women to seek emotional support. However, this doesn’t reflect the reality as men benefit just as deeply. Divorce can be a hugely isolating experience for anyone, and coaching provides a structured, non-judgmental space for both men and women to clarify their goals, process their emotions, and prepare for what comes next.

So the type of client best suited for coaching isn’t defined by gender, but rather by a willingness to engage with the process. Whether it’s a father worried about maintaining his bond with his children, or a mother trying to regain her footing financially, coaching is about empowerment—helping individuals regain confidence, regardless of their circumstances. It resonates with those ready to grow, heal, and embrace the possibility of a brighter future, whether they’re men or women.

In divorces involving multiple jurisdictions there must be some unexpected complications along the way. Can you share some ‘if only I’d known that before’ moments that your clients have encountered?

One of the biggest ‘if only I’d known’ moments comes up when a French parent living in England decides they want to return to France with the children after a divorce—only to discover it’s not so simple. Many assume they can just “go home,” but under English law, relocating children internationally requires the consent of the other parent or a court order. It can come as a shock when the other parent refuses, leaving them feeling trapped in a country they no longer want to stay in. The emotional fallout is significant, as the parent seeking to move feels torn between their desire to return to their roots and their obligations under English law. Early legal advice is crucial here to understand the complex interplay of parental rights, the children’s best interests, and the practical realities of cross-border parenting.

And finally, what’s the best piece of advice you have heard, or given, to someone going through an international divorce?

The best advice? “Control the controllables.” In an international divorce, there’s so much that feels beyond your control—different laws, timelines, and even cultural attitudes. But what you can control is your mindset and the support you surround yourself with. Stay focused on your long-term goals, build a team you trust, and remember that uncertainty isn’t the enemy—it’s where growth happens.

Conclusion

As can be gathered from our discussion, navigating an Anglo-French divorce requires more than just a grasp of the law—it demands a nuanced understanding of cultural differences, jurisdictional complexities, and the emotional weight of cross-border disputes. With careful planning and the right support, even the most challenging international divorces can lead to outcomes that align with both practical and personal goals. If you find yourself uncertain about the best approach for your situation, we encourage you to seek advice.  We would be happy to help you navigate this complex process with clarity, confidence, and a well-rounded strategy.

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Mark Estcourt

CEO at Cavendish Family Office

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