What unique challenges do high-achieving men face? In this Q&A, we speak with the ‘queen of kings’ Fiona Ross, a leadership and transformation coach at Coaching for Men, who specialises in guiding men through personal and professional crises, as well as helping them thrive at the top of their game. Sharing her insights on the silent struggles men often face, and the toll of isolation, Fiona offers a fresh perspective on preventing burnout, and reimagining success.

Fiona, coaching men in leadership roles particularly those navigating challenges, such as personal or professional crises, is incredibly specialised work. What inspired you to focus on this area?

I’ve always been drawn to the quiet strength and unspoken struggles of men who shoulder immense responsibility. Many of the men I work with seem to have everything—power, wealth, influence—yet often feel isolated, burdened, or uncertain about the path ahead.

Growing up surrounded by brothers, cousins, and neighbours—all boys—I was always comfortable in their company, observing their ways of being and understanding their world from an early age. This upbringing shaped my deep respect for the unique challenges men face, especially those that often go unspoken.

In 2017 I attended the One Woman Conference in London, a powerful weekend event focused on the empowerment and development of women through their innate Feminine. Amidst the inspiration and celebration, I had a ‘eureka’ moment: men need this kind of support too. Men need to find a way back to their innate Masculine in an empowered and balanced form. While men’s challenges may be different, they are no less significant.

What I’ve seen time and again is that men often keep things to themselves, believing they should be able to fix things on their own. It’s as if silence is the price they pay for being perceived as strong. But this silence can be costly, as it frequently leads to feelings of isolation and, in many cases, crisis. My work creates a space where men can break free from this pattern, addressing challenges early on and rediscovering their capacity for growth and transformation.

You mentioned that many men suppress their struggles until they have hit breaking point – what does that typically look like, and how do you work with them to prevent it from escalating?

For high-achieving men, the breaking point often doesn’t look like a dramatic collapse. Instead, it shows up as a growing disconnection from their work, their relationships, and even themselves. It can feel like losing sight of the ‘why’ behind their success or making decisions that, deep down, they know threaten what matters most.

This may look like keeping secrets, withdrawing from loved ones and friends, and developing habits and behaviours they feel shame about. Many men develop a short fuse and get angry or find themselves capitulating and abdicating their responsibility. It may show up as a lack of time and self-care.

I create a space where these men feel truly seen and heard—often for the first time in years. Through deep listening and compassionate dialogue, we uncover what’s really driving their challenges and begin to reimagine what’s possible. Small but intentional shifts often unlock a sense of clarity and agency, showing them they are not stuck but capable of creating meaningful change.

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While many of your clients come to you to recover from a low point, you’re also passionate about coaching men to reach and remain at the top of their game.  Could you explain what this approach means and how it works in practice?

What excites me most about coaching is that it’s not just about solving problems—it’s about creating possibilities. Many of the men I work with have achieved incredible external success but feel something is missing. Together, we explore what fulfilment truly looks like for them.

The process begins with self-awareness. By looking at who they are being—how they show up in their leadership, relationships, and personal lives—we uncover what truly matters to them. Then we create a path to align their actions with those values. What makes this work so powerful is that it doesn’t just help them navigate challenges; it unlocks the parts of themselves they’ve often overlooked. These are the parts that hold the key to their deepest ambitions, relationships, and joy. For many men, this involves stepping away from the narrative that success is measured purely by achievements and embracing a more holistic view of their lives.

It’s worth recognising that everyone at the top of their game has someone in their corner—a coach or mentor to help them see their blind spots, push their boundaries, and maximise their potential. Professional sportsmen, for example, would never consider competing at their highest level without this kind of support. The same principle applies to leaders. Having someone to challenge and guide you can be the difference between simply maintaining success and truly flourishing.

And this is where action comes in. Because no matter the insights or clarity uncovered, transformation only happens when action is taken. One of my personal guideline statements is, “I am infinite potential and immediate action - action is the antidote.” It’s through taking action, aligned with their values and vision, that men step into their full power. And when that happens, the ripple effects are extraordinary. It’s not just their world that transforms; it’s how they inspire and uplift those around them.

How did you adapt your coaching style and tools specifically to suit the needs and communication preferences of men in high-pressure roles?

Many high-achieving men value directness and clarity, so I’ve developed a style that’s both practical and profound. I use incisive questions to cut through the noise and uncover what’s truly holding them back. At the same time, I respect their need for efficiency and actionable results, ensuring each session delivers tangible outcomes.

What’s equally important is creating a space where they can reflect without feeling judged or rushed. Successful men often operate in environments where vulnerability isn’t encouraged, so I focus on building trust. This balance of depth, practicality, and safety allows them to access new levels of insight and creativity.

What qualities or situations make someone particularly well-suited to coaching? And how do you inspire men who may initially be sceptical to see the value of this work?

Coaching is ideal for men who are ready to explore what’s possible in their lives, even if they feel uncertain or stuck. It’s less about having the answers and more about being open to growth and curiosity. The best results come when someone is willing to look inward and challenge their assumptions.

For those who are sceptical, I often start with a conversation about what they want to create. Many men think they have to figure it all out on their own, but once they experience the clarity and momentum coaching provides, they see how transformative it can be. This isn’t about fixing problems—it’s about unlocking the life they’ve always wanted.

You work with men during some of their most vulnerable moments. Could you share with us any examples of transformations you’ve witnessed through coaching?

One of the most inspiring transformations was with Phill, a client who worked with me for six months in 2023. Phill had been through a difficult period personally and it had impacted all areas of his life and that left him questioning his confidence and his direction. Together, we worked on uncovering his core values, strengths, and areas for growth—even when he doubted the process.

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Phill describes the transformation best:

"Fiona’s guidance and expertise have not only helped me gain a deeper understanding of who I am but have also equipped me with the confidence to pursue my goals and aspirations with conviction. The legacy of our work together impacts not just me but those around me, too."

This ripple effect—where one man’s growth uplifts his family, friends, and colleagues—is the essence of coaching’s power. It reminds me why I believe so deeply in our innate ability to create the lives we want.

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And finally, if you could offer one piece of advice to highly successful men struggling with crisis or burnout in today’s high-pressure world, what would it be?

You have the power to create the life you want. Too often, men believe they are trapped by circumstances or responsibilities, but the truth is that every moment offers a choice. My advice is to pause and ask yourself: “Who do I need to be to create the life/career/relationship I truly desire?”

Burnout, disconnection, or dissatisfaction isn’t a sign of failure; it’s an invitation to reconnect with your purpose. Seek support, reflect on what matters, and take small but meaningful steps forward. You’re far more powerful than you realise, and the life you want is already within reach—you just need to claim it.

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Conclusion

As can be gathered from our discussion, coaching high-achieving men in leadership is about far more than addressing moments of crisis. Fiona’s insights highlight the unique challenges these men face—often feeling burdened or isolated despite their success—and the transformative potential of creating a space for vulnerability and growth. By focusing on self-awareness, alignment with values, and actionable steps, this specialised approach enables men to rediscover their purpose, strengthen their relationships, and thrive holistically.

If you are navigating leadership pressures or seeking to reach your fullest potential, we encourage you to get in touch. We would be happy to support you in unlocking the clarity, confidence, and fulfilment you deserve.
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Mark Estcourt

CEO atCavendish Family Office